I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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