I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
