You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
This is classic penis vs brain.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
