If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He shit in the fireplace
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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