If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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