its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
