I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
