Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
