Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
