Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
