Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
