Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
