feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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