Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Sober January is a disaster.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
