i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
