I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
