I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
