How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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