My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
