Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
