Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize