He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
