He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need to sanitize my soul.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize