New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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