I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
