where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
