I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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