just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
