It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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