she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
