I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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