we have officially lost it.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
