The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
