I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
