I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize