Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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