it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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