This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I lost the right to judge tonight
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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