i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
