I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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