dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
