direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
