If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize