Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
