So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
