I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
