Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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