Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize