Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
