I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
