Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
