There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
