we have officially lost it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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