According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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