spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
