Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
