"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We're too hungover to prance.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
