My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
