it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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